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The Journal About Meghan

October 29, 2002, Tuesday, 38 days

   Easy Delivery

Due to Meghan’s breech position in my womb, we planed to receive her by C-section on the 25^th of September, however, it seemed Meghan would like to make her own decision on when to join the world. And her good timing of arrival was greatly appreciated. First of all, it was the Mid-autumn Festival. Every Chinese knows this is the time for family gathering, and Meghan was right on time.

Secondly, she knocked the door (my water broke) at about 8 o’clock in the Saturday morning after everybody of the family had a good night sleep. And also, since we moved further away from the hospital not long ago, we had been worried about the distance and the unpredictable traffic between home and the hospital. If Meghan came on a weekday, Jeff would have to rush back from his office where is about one hour drive to home. It was God's mercy that Meghan seemed to understand all these and the worry was replaced by an easy ride to the hospital on a Saturday morning.

Meghan also seemed to concern about my pain of delivering her big sized body, so that she chose to sit upright in my womb and gave me an option to have C-section directly. In fact, I did not feel any pain in labor at all. My water broke with no pain at about 8 am, and we registered in Lutheran General Hospital about one hour later. Dr. Randall Kahan is the doctor in duty that day in WomenCare, the clinic I have been going to since the pregnancy. He was engaged in other three deliveries in another hospital early that day before he was able to come to me in the afternoon. During the several hours waiting time, the contractions of my uterus was about 10 minutes apart, and by the end my cervix dilated to 4 and a half centimeters, however, I did not experience any pain. When I was just about to feel very slight uncomfortable from the contractions, Dr. Kahan called to inform the nurses and the anesthetist to make me ready for the operation, because he was on his way to Lutheran General. In my memory, the cesarean was very short and pain free. I felt Meghan came out of my womb no more than 10 minutes after Dr. Kahan walked into the operation room.

We do give our thanks to God for giving us such a special child.
      

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          Help

I feel grateful my parents could come and help. They flew in Chicago 12 days before my labor and thank god they had got a 6 month’s staying permit. My dad has been cooking for us and my mom has been helping me with the baby during the day so that I could make up for some sleep. They are not the type of people who used to do this much household work at their own home. In order to take good care of Meghan and me, they had bought and read more than ten books on cooking, infant care, postpartum care and so on before they came. So far they have done their best. They make me realize being a parent do not just mean to have fun, it rather mean to show loving care for your children your whole life.

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October 31, 2002, Thursday, 40 days

      
      
          Sleep

I used to need 8 hours sleep everyday to keep myself function well in every way. Now this becomes impossible. And also, everything is accelerated. I jump in the shower and jump out. But I really don’t even mind being exhausted. You kind of get used to the fatigue.

On the contrary, Meghan falls asleep whenever she feels like, sometimes in the middle of a feeding, sometimes when I am still talking to her. We have not been in any feeding schedule. I feed her about every 3 hours or so. But sometimes, especially in the morning, when the room brightens up, she definitely knows a new day has come, and this seems to get her excited and make her want to eat every hour.

I look forward to sleeping through a whole night like before. And I feel hopeful because a couple of times recently she went for a six-hour stretch between feedings.

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November 2, 2002, Saturday, 42 days

   First Smiles

Meghan smiles a lot ever since she was brought home from the hospital. I was really thrilled when I first saw her smiles, but then I realized she wasn’t really smiling at me, instead, she could be smiling at the ceiling, the wall or anything. I read it in the books that baby’s first smiles are the work of passing bubbles of gas. However, I believe Meghan’s smiles are not just “gas”. She could be smiling as she is falling asleep, or as she urinates, and the smiles may definitely be the sign of comfort and contentment. No matter what the cause of her smiles, I’ll take them anyway because they are undeniable adorable.

Real Smiles

I believe Meghan started to be smiling her real smiles in the middle of her 5th week of age.  We saw it when my mom and I were both there changing her diaper, which is Meghan’s most favorite thing to be done. There she smiled using her whole face, not just her mouth. The moment I saw it, I knew this one was real, and I melt accordingly. This is definitely the most heartwarming payback after having been feeding, changing, kissing and cuddling her for weeks without much response. And this is what makes things in life matter.

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November 3, 2002, Sunday, 43 days

         Crying for Food

I’ve heard the stories about crying babies and I fully prepared myself for Meghan in this respect. However, surprisingly, Meghan rarely cries. She only cries for feeding, and she would always signal you her hunger and give you plenty of time to prepare for her “meal”.

Usually, the beginning of a feeding is the end of a sleep, when she will switch herself from deep sleep to active sleep, her breathing will become quicker and louder, and her tongue and mouth will begin move a lot and give noises. She would do all these for a long time before getting frustrated so as to cry. During this “hunger signaling” time, if I held her up or just showed the intention to hold her by touching her, she would stop all the signals and calm down waiting for the feeding. However, if I was just holding her without real feeding, she would signal again and not for long she would cry.

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November 4, 2002, Monday, 44 days

        Seeing Dr. Yuen

I have chosen Dr. Michael Yuen as Meghan’s pediatrician because he speaks Mandarin. For insurance reason, he couldn’t go to Lutheran General Hospital when I delivered Meghan. Today is the first time we went to see him for a routine check-up. He is in his 50s and seems nice.

Meghan had a good cry when the nurse weighed her because she was completely striped off. To my surprise, Meghan, only six weeks old, has grown to be 12 lbs 4 oz and 23 inch long. Such a big baby! In the last 4 weeks, her weight increased almost 1 lb per week!

Meghan was still naked when Dr. Yuen was examining her. Therefore, she was still crying, but in the meantime, she was not forgetting to keep a firm grip on the side bar of the baby scale using her tiny little delicate hand, showing her instinct of self-protection. And it looked so darn cute.

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November 5, 2002, Tuesday, 45 days

    “Talking”

I remember it was in the beginning of the third week, Meghan cooed the first time when I was changing her diaper. My mom and I were both startled and thrilled by her cooing coming so early. Ever since then, she has been “talking” to us a lot by cooing, gurgling, grunting, squealing and humming. I enjoy all these sounds very much, because they are the rather positive alternative ways to express her feelings than crying. I always make sure to coo and gurgle right back at her to let her know she is doing part of the communication.

Meghan likes us speaking to her. Sometimes when we talked to her or talked to each other near her, she would gurgle or hum right after we finished a sentence, as if she understood what we were saying and responded to show support. That is very cute and makes us laugh. Usually, after too much talking, she would start hiccups as a signal, in which she is saying, “Come on, I need a break. I’ve got enough.” Then, we would give her some milk or water to stop the hiccups and leave her alone.  

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        Bowel Movement

Also since the third week, Meghan started making a lot of noises when she sleeps, grunting when she stretches or making these adorable little peeps. We’ve also found she grunts, groans and strains whenever she has a bowel movement. At first, Jeff and I suspected constipation. After reading books, I found it was quite the opposite. It is because the stool is too soft to put adequate pressure on the anus, so that the babies have to push and strain to get their movements out. And this is very common for a young baby.

It is true for Meghan because her stools do look soft and even liquid-like. Although we could set our mind at ease after understanding this, I still look forward to the time we could add solid food to Meghan’s diet so that she could easily get movements out, and so that we will not feel any uncomfortable by just looking her straining at stool.

November 11, 2002, Monday, 51 days

         She recognizes me!?

Meghan could recognize our voices since the early weeks (the 2^nd week?). When she is about to cry, just the sound of our voices will make her stop. I’ll shout, “Hey-hey, Meghan, I’m coming.”  She will be quiet for a while waiting for me. In such moment, I really think she understands what I said.

Since her 6th week, Meghan could definitely follow our movement around her by her eyes. Sometimes, while I was standing by one side of the crib, to which her head is pointing to, preparing the formula bottle, she would look up over her forehead to my direction, quietly listen to the sounds I made by pouring water or stirring the bottle, and patiently wait for feeding. I felt like my work had got some kind of reward by being given attention, instead of being ignored for the first several weeks.

At first Meghan's cooing and throaty gurgles seem totally random, and then we notice they are really directed at us. Once, when my mom was leaving her crib after playing with her, Meghan gurgled very loudly. And my mom firmly believed Meghan was calling her back. In the morning, when Meghan sees us after a long sleep, she will squeal in delight, and, when we open up her diaper, she will even laugh out laud to express her happiness. Each time, she giggles and kicks her legs when she sees me, my heart is full of joy.

November 12, 2002, Tuesday, 52 days

     Likes and Dislikes

Meghan likes getting diaper changed. When we unbutton her sleeper and open up the diaper, she will kick her legs with excitement, and sometimes also gurgle or squeal in delight.

Meghan dislikes people touching her head. She will move her head away from your hand if you tired to do so. However, touching her head is my weapon to wake her up when she falls asleep before finishing a feeding.

Meghan likes the mirror a lot. Even though I have told her a thousand times the mommy in the mirror is a fake and I am the real one, she is still fascinated by the fake.

Meghan likes light music. Whenever light music is played, she will be quiet and happy. She dislikes Celine Dion, who however is my favorite.  

Meghan likes the car seat. She enjoyed every ride in the car. The car seat also has another function. When Meghan is fussy, putting her into the car seat will calm her down. Especially, when Jeff carries her in the car seat walking around in the house, she may think it's in the car and she loves it.

Meghan likes eating. In the last a few days, there are several times she had had more than 5 ounces milk in one feeding. This morning’s feeding has reached the all-time top, she ate 8 ounces within one and a half hours. I once called the doctor to make sure I was not overfeeding her. The doctor told me she would be fine if she was not spitting out. This answer put my mind in peace.

On the other hand, Meghan doesn’t seem to enjoy poop. She strains and grunts almost every time at stool. 

November 19, 2002, Tuesday, 59 days

"Is anybody there?"

I was woke up this morning by Meghan's call. This is what she's started to do the last a couple of days. After she is completely awake in the morning, she starts to look around, and if you were happen to be there, that would make her very happy. However, if nobody was around, what she would do is calling us by making these high-pitched sounds, loud enough to catch your attention or even wake you up. She is definitely shouting out, "is anybody there?"

Meghan is increasingly alert and responsive to her surroundings. She notices the sounds from her environment and also wants to try out her vocal cords at every opportunity. She loves being talked to and she'll try to imitate the shape of your mouth when you are talking and the speech sounds. I like to vocalize simple sound, something like "hi", "ah", "oh", to let her imitate. She would change the shape of her mouth several times before she could get the hang of it, start from coos and babbles, and finally shout out in a high-pitched sound and then beam with satisfaction. I believe she said "hi" by imitating me the day before yesterday and said "hello" today. Yean, go ahead laugh at me, you, just like Jeff would do.

Meghan is now able to clearly express her joy. She could laugh quietly or giggle very loudly in delight. When I put my face close to hers and make noises, or use my finger touch her forehead and move away quickly, she lets out a great, wonderful belly laugh. At such moments, I'll find myself laughing right back. 

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